Exploring the Magical World of Dreams Level 2

This morning I was having a conversation with someone I have not seen for fifty years. We were standing in a café and I was expressing my confusion about why I had returned to work. I didn’t need to, I did not know what my job was and I was feeling somewhat lost..His name was Pat Benson and he was my boss for three years at Salada Foods from 1967 to 1970. I woke to find I was dreaming.

Dreams tap directly into our unconscious. They often contain people and symbols from the past. The immediate question I faced was why this dream now and why did my unconscious select this person from a fifty-year old memory? I realized one tool at my disposal was to engage in “active imagination” with this person and ask them. This is but one of the ways we can enter our imagination on a journey of exploration.

Workshop Outline

This workshop will help you go deeply into the world of dreams, active imagination, symbols, projection and the unconscious. The unconscious by definition is that of which we are consciously unaware yet there are ways we can discern what in our unconscious is trying to enter consciousness. Specific Contents:

1) Exploration and Working with Dreams as Guidance

2) Engaging in Active Imagination

3) Exploring Images and the Power of Projection

4) Understanding The Languages of Intuition

5) Using Poetry as a Pipeline into our Inner World

Fee by Donation (Däna *)

 What Others Have Said

 “I found the sessions I was able to attend to be simply excellent.  I loved the opening meditations, your flow in bringing the content into application, and your style in honouring of individual input.   Thank you for showing us a craft that you have obviously invested time and energy in mastering.” Joyce Gwilliam

“Thank you SO much for such an interesting, inspiring and fun evening! You are such a relaxed, organized and passionate teacher so WELL DONE!”Janie Brown

Trevor Simpson is a Spiritual Coach, author of Life’s Little Book for Big Decisions and has worked with dreams since 1998. He and Indrus Piche have been dream partners since 2002 and have developed a Dream Partnering process to support others interested in dream interpretation. (www.soulclarity.com)

 

* This is from the Buddhist tradition of Däna– “Däna is a gift given from the heart. 
It brings joy and benefit to both the giver and the receiver.” (Still Water Working Group).

Explore The Magical. Marvelous, Mysterious World of Dreams

This is a one-day workshop to explore dreams. Learning to work with dreams can prove to be a source of guidance, inspiration and insight. Not all dreams are created equal. This workshop will help you discern the different types of dreams, identify the dreams that are most significant and provide tools and a process to explore their meaning. Only the dreamer can truly know the meaning of their dreams and a dream unexplored is like a letter not opened. (The Talmud)

Workshop Outline

* Learning to differentiate types of dreams and discern which are likely to be meaningful.

* How to facilitate remembering dreams and keeping track.

* To explore the principles of dream analysis and how to tend a dream.

* Exploration of the relationship between the imagination and dreams and how symbols are created in    dreams

* Introduction to dream partnering.

* Looking at the dream in the context of your life.

* An exploration of energy, feelings and consciousness in dreams.

* Learning to understand archetypes and their influence on dreams.

* To understand why we should not interpret other people’s dreams.

Location and Timing

September 17th Kitsilano 10:00 am to 4:00 pm

Fee by donation

What Others Have Said

“Thank you again for the incredible dream partnering! Wow! So amazing! I think yourwork with dreams would really help people to change how they view dreams andhopefully help them to build a more conscious connection with their soul!” Nancy Monson

“I found the sessions I was able to attend to be simply excellent. I loved the opening meditations, your flow in bringing the content into application, and your style in honoring of individual input. Thank you for showing us a craft that you have obviously invested time and energy in mastering.” Joyce Gwilliam

Trevor Simpson is a Spiritual Coach lives in Vancouver, Canada, author of Life’s Little Book for Big Decisions and has worked with dreams since 1998. He has had a dream partner since 2002 and developed a Dream Partnering process to support others interested in dream interpretation. (www.soulclarity.com)

A Dream to Explore – The Calling

This dream came in response to being awake two nights in a row at 3:30 a.m. I asked the silent darkness for a sign if something was being asked of me. This dream occurred just before I awoke on the second day.

“ I am strolling in downtown Vancouver trying to decide if I want to continue in the advertising business. I feel dissatisfied, somewhat bored and feel my time is over. Then I find myself at a meeting with my team at a table on the side of Burrard Street, a major thoroughfare. There are five around the table. Three are familiar as I worked with them. I will call them Sam, Andy, Ron and two younger people of whom I only have vague recollection. One was a young woman. Sam is addressing me and basically telling me I need to step up as someone (a German) is after my position. He is suggesting I am far too good to allow this to happen. After he has finished Ron looks kindly at me and says but the real question is do you want to? I realize he has seen the core issue and I sit for a moment deciding whether to take them into my confidence. I decide to do that then notice a sixth person seems to have joined us who should not be party to the discussion. I point this out and Andy gets up and picks him up – chair and all and deposits him onto Burrard Street and sits down. I open my mouth to share ….. and wake up.”

I gave the dream a cursory examination, wrote it down in my journal then basically dismissed it. I finished with that business over thirty years ago and have no inclination at the age of 76 to get back involved. It was not until I met my friend LC on the beach later that day for a beer that I shared the dream with him. I thought he would be amused, as he knew the people in the dream. However his reaction was forceful, “This means something, you are being asked to do something here! You can’t just ignore this!” Feeling somewhat chastised, I began the next morning. I promised I would not just dismiss his comments and would do some due diligence with the dream.

The first step is to look at the emotional content of the dream. It begins with me feeling dissatisfied with the status quo. Then during the meeting I am impressed with Sam’s enthusiasm, touched by Ron’s kindness, concerned about the intruder and finally amused by Andy’s solution to the problem.

At this point in a dream analysis, I summarize the feelings chronologically to see if I recognize a pattern and ask myself how they may relate to my current life: dissatisfied, impressed, touched and amused. I suspect there ma be a correlation between some dissatisfaction by my lack of productivity, particularly in terms of writing. Up until now I blame my inertia on Covid but maybe the dream is help me go deeper.

Next I look at the energy in the dream and where it peaks. There are two energetic high points – first when I decide to share my feelings with my team and then the removal of the concern. I contemplate for a moment what concerns I may have that are holding me back then move on the final aspect of dream analysis: the consciousness and symbols within the dream.

This can be both the fascinating and somewhat confusing part – what do these people represent as an aspect of me? Two are easy. Sam is aspect of me that steps up and takes on the work. Bob is the fixer who removes problems. Ron is more difficult- he was schmoozey, deceitful, and manipulative, could be aggressive; in fact I actually had to fire him. Yet he could also be charming but generally with a hidden agenda. Lots of shadow characteristics there!

So what is being asked of me? Is the obstacle all the concerns I have had around soul and what it means? As I write this. I know my confusion around the concept of soul has created a sense of discomfort writing under the banners of SoulClarity and The Soul’s Journey. Who am I to write about soul when I have lost my clarity around the concept?

So now it is back to the dream and seeking further guidance.

PS Aug 19th This morning I was reflecting on all the different metaphors for the soul – rose, grape, diamond, onion etc. Thomas Moore suggests the soul belongs in the imaginary world rather than the real one. Perhaps it is time for me stop seeing the soul as a thing but as wonderful metaphor to support meaning and development on the life’s journey. It now has a new sense of mystery attached to it. Perhaps this will free my writer’s block.

PPS October 7th Finally the block is removed, it took longer than I expected see soul blog.

Three Evenings Exploring Dreams

Learning to work with dreams can prove to be a source of guidance, inspiration and insight. Not all dreams are created equal. This program will help you discern the different types of dreams, identify the dreams that are most significant and provide tools and a process to explore their meaning. Only the dreamer can truly know the meaning of their dreams and a dream unexplored is like a letter not opened. (The Talmud)

The series will be three two-hour evenings. They will be conducted on Zoom. Each session will cost $25 payable through interac transfer to trevorsimpson1@me.com. There will be a maximum of 6 people accepted. 

Outline of the Program

First Evening

Group discussion on dream experience. Review of sleep research, dream research, and dreaming and sleep cycles. Exploration of different types of dreams we may encounter. Facilitating remembering dreams and keeping track. Demonstration of working with a dream.

Second Evening

Review of the concept of the unconscious. Discussion of the relationship of the unconscious and dreams. Assessment of images, signs, symbols and meaning. Dreams and their relationship to time. Archetypes and myth.

Third Evening

Exploring dreams in the context of your life. Understanding energy, symbols and the consciousness in dreams. Introduction to dream partnering and how it works. Demonstration of dream partnering. Reviewing the practice of active imagination. Learning to trust your dreams and honouring the dream.

For more information contact me at trevor@soulclarity.com

The Presenter Trevor Simpson

Trevor has been been studying dream work since 1998. His teachers have included Stephen Aizenstat of the Pacifica Institute, Robert Moss, Atum O’Kane and James Hollis. He has conducted dream groups in Vancouver, California and the UK. He developed a process called Dream Partnering that facilitates dream discernment. He has a blog on dreams at https://dreamclarityblog.wordpress.com

What Others Have Said

“Thank you again for the incredible dream partnering! Wow! So amazing! I think yourwork with dreams would really help people to change how they view dreams andhopefully help them to build a more conscious connection with their soul!” Nancy Monson

“I found the sessions I was able to attend to be simply excellent. I loved the openingmeditations, your flow in bringing the content into application, and your style inhonoring of individual input. Thank you for showing us a craft that you have obviously invested time and energy in mastering.” Joyce Gwilliam

Active Imagination In The Opening Up Of A Dream

I am in a house which feels somewhat like a government building. I have just resolved something that has made the environment safer however I feel apprehensive and on guard for something to get worse. The PM works in the building. When I check on her office she and her two assistants appear to be lying dead on the floor. I realize that there must be a disruptive agent at work. A small boy all in green approaches me asking where he should go. I notice he has flashing red LEDs on his outfit. I believe he is a bomb ready to detonate. I thrust him into a room, I notice two children lying on the floor just as I close the door on him. I hear an explosion and feel tremendous guilt and shame. What have I done?

I was somewhat traumatized by the feelings in the dream when I woke up. I had not only cast a small child to his fate but possibly condemned two other children to death. The first step was to separate myth from reality. I began by identifying all the feelings experienced during the dream: apprehension and uncertainty, anxiety, suspicion, fear, urgency shame and guilt. These are very powerful emotions that suggest this dream has significant meaning. Then I reflected on the elements in the dream: the PM who is feminine, the house itself, the small boy in green, the two children in the room. Some what hopefully green is a colour associated with healing, the age of the child suggests some connection with my childhood, the feminine figures are not part of the action. I suspect the house relates to my personal state of consciousness while the PM is likely connected to my inner feminine however at this point I was stuck.

To pursue meaning from this dream I knew that I needed time and help. I have learned you cannot resolve a dream through thinking about it. A dream can unwrap itself but often needs a kickstart. I am fortunate to have a dream partner and a dream group. I began with my dream partner of many years who sensed the importance, asked a number of pertinent questions but I had no flash of insight. My dream group were encouraging and one member suggested active imagination with the small boy. This is a process of dialoguing with an image in the dream. I made a commitment to do this but promptly ran into resistance and the intention slipped onto the back burner.

A couple of weeks later I recalled my commitment and sat down one evening in a quiet environment, put on some sacred music, assembled my dream journal and some coloured pens and embarked on a journey into my imaginary world. Basically the process involves creating a conversation between yourself and a figure in the dream. It is a dialogue and I write down questions to which the respondent answers. I use a different colour pen for each voice. It is essential to let go of the ego judgment that emerges around a conversation with yourself. I just write and trust. I do not try to figure it out

Although this dialogue was brief, it led to a series of questions of myself: What am I on guard against? What causes the feminine to not be active in my life? What could blow up my life? Where do I feel horror and shame? What was the environment in which the dream occurred. Why did my young self want my attention? This was familiar as many of the aspects of my adult self formed when I was six years old. I became extremely independent, my mother had no time to meet my needs with a baby, a four-year old, me and three elder siblings. (I have never figured out how she coped) It caused me to cope through independence however I have learned that underneath that veneer of self-control lies an angry, impatient, emotional young child that can emerge when control is threatened or eliminated.

It was time to let it go for a while, I knew that thinking about it any more would send me round in circles. I needed to trust that my inner guidance system would process and help out. The next day I went for a long walk and fragments of the puzzle began to emerge. I recalled that prior to the dream I had been thinking about three relationships I had with different women. Each one developed a pattern in that I began to feel uncertain about how to be with them. They each had a capacity to hurt me if I offended them. It was not physical but mental. I learned to “walk on egg shells” so I would not disturb the stars quo. However I could never sustain it long enough to avoid the consequences. So the relationships were in many ways not authentic. I justified my behaviour on the basis that it was loving and caring.

Now I see that behind the facade was fear. The fear of a six year old who could lose control. When the energy of the six year old emerged it caused me to retreat, avoid confrontation and also replace my intuitive sense of what was happening. (The dead or sleeping figures in the dream) The dream was to help me see this pattern. When I shared this with a therapist friend she noted that this pattern seemed very resonant with my relationship with my father who would be absent, critical and hurtful and frequently my solution was just to stay out of the way. It is so interesting when dreams help to unravel old mysteries. The new awareness can help to create new patterns of behaviour and ensure I befriend my inner six-year old.

A Journey Of Dreams

Recently I woke up three times during the night and each time I had a short but incredibly clear dream. When I woke up the memory was as vivid as when I had the dream. As I explored the relationship between the dreams I knew there was a journey but had no idea what could link them.

In the first dream I was with my first wife who had told ne she was leaving me and I was extremely angry. I asked how she could do this to me and her response was kind, loving but firm. I asked her when she stopped loving me and she paused and then responded, “I think when I lost the baby.”

The second dream was even shorter. I am in church with my dear friend Maryann. She is listening to the sermon; I seem to be watching her. Suddenly she exclaims, “WTF does Jesus have to do with my Christmas genesis?” 

The third dream I am standing at a bus stop with my friend Reg. A double decker bus arrives, we get on and I stop to deposit coins in the ticket machine. Suddenly it begins to spit coins out – more and more coins begin to cover the floor of the bus. I join Reg on the upper deck. The bus driver announces he is going to pull over to clear up the coins. All the snowboarders decide to alight.

 During the past two weeks I worked with these dreams both with my dream partner, some select friends and on my own. As often occurs pieces of a puzzle emerge:

– The first dream is purely metaphysical and bore no resemblance to my real life. My wife did not leave me, she never lost a baby. Therefore the message is symbolic.

– Therefore my first wife did not represent herself but some aspect of me. I deduce that she represents the unconscious feeling state.

– I lost touch with my feelings at the age of eleven when I got sent away to boarding school. During the next five years of my life I suffered enormous losses in terms of self-esteem, courage, initiative and ambition, and developing a fear of failure to the point I would no longer attempt anything risky or challenging. This is what the baby represents in the dream.

The second dream is much more difficult to interpret. I have had a checkered relationship to Christianity during my life. I abandoned it at the age of 13; returned for a brief period in my fifties when I joined and studied at the Unity Church; I went so far as to attend theological college where I made peace with the tradition realizing that what I had been taught as a child was history is actually mostly myth. I have great respect for the essential teachings of Jesus but like many I have learned to discern those which are likely genuine from those which are likely added later. (Stephen Mitchell’s Book “The Gospel According to Jesus” has been a great support.

Reflecting on the dream it occurred to me that the reason so many Christians could not follow the teachings of the man whose name their faith bears is that they have never explored their own psychology and unconscious fears around love and forgiveness which comprise so much of Jesus’s message.

I am still waiting for the powerful theme “Christmas Genesis” to be revealed to me. Literally it would mean “a beginning through a new divine birth.

The final dream is about closure. My friend Reg has just been diagnosed with cancer so he represents the aspect of me entering the last chapter of my life. The snowboarders are an interesting symbol. They have traditionally represented counter-culture, so they likely represents in me letting go of some more dissident aspects of my personality. The machine spitting out money suggests perhaps that on this last part of my journey I do not need to be concerned about basic needs.

One of my ongoing commitments is to continue to “refine my heart”. I suspect this dream is a signpost for me to follow. I am “following the bread crumbs” as best I can and have begun reading Stephen Mitchells book once again for clues as well as paying close attention to dreams signs and symbols. Eminent author and Jungian Analyst James Hollis suggests the enquiry, “Why did my unconscious bring me this dream now – a worthy question that as yet still needs an answer.

Dreams and Active Imagination

I am sitting in a room of a house trying to decide which TV channels to choose. Besides the TV is a man that I believe is French working at a desk. I decide to make a cup of tea and address him with the words, “du the?” He shakes his head and I go to the kitchen and put the kettle on. I return to my seat to search out a movie and he speaks to me in very proper English with no trace of an accent. I have obviously been mistaken in my assumption. He seems to be there to do some work. It slowly sinks in that he is not the owner of the house. At this point I am assuming I am a guest in the house too. He stands up and walks over to the wall and puts his hand on it announcing it is damp and there is moisture in the walls. He suggests that this would be problematic for the prospective purchaser. Suddenly I realize I am the owner and the house is for sale. There is an agreement to sell but it has not closed. I then sense he knows the owner and I become concerned that he may prevent the deal from taking place.

At this juncture I wake up. I am in a state of confusion. At first I think I still own a property in Nelson, BC and that this sale is under threat. Slowly it dawns on me that it is a dream, I feel a huge sense of relief – I sold the Nelson house almost twenty-years earlier.

I gave no consideration to the meaning of the dream as I had my monthly dream group that night and planned to bring it to the group for assistance through the dream partnering process I have developed.

Once again this technique of sharing and tending the dream by exploring feelings, energy and symbols was profoundly helpful at expanding my discernment. The dream is about an unconscious dissonance that has developed between the “doer” and the one who gets so easily distracted. Once again I marvel at the brilliance of the unconscious to present the “doer” as foreign to me.

This makes so much sense as I live much of my life in a state of being and trusting that my inner wisdom will bring me focus when I am required to shift into a more active engagement. Recently I have felt no great passion to write or produce anything. My summer was a great time of re-creation and I had not written a blog since mid-June. A project I had started at the beginning of the year has had no focus for months. Consciously I had felt unconcerned because there had been no clear evidence that it was time to move to a more active role.

Yet my unconscious is expressing concern. In fact the “doer” thinks that the structure of the house (my individualized consciousness) is under threat. The deal – “my commitment to my deeper self or Soul to fulfill my highest expression” may be in danger. Damp implies significant exposure to water which in my dream lexicon could be about the unconscious or feelings.

I feel uncertain about how to address this dissonance and whether I am being asked to rethink a long term philosophy of “waiting on the will of heaven” before acting. I have always trusted that inspiration will come when I am required to take something on. I have found that passion for something becomes the driving force to move ahead.

But what happens if that inspiration or passion does not show up? Should I introduce more structure in my life. Suddenly it occurred to me that this would be a perfect opportunity to apply active imagination.

Active Imagination is a Jungian tool asking us to converse with the character in the dream. We ask the questions and then reply. It seems strangely foreign at first but is all about letting go and just recording the dialogue as it unfolds without judging it or questioning it. I decide to name the “doer” as Jim.

Me: So why have we become so disconnected?

Jim: I feel stuck because I can’t “do” without having a reason.

Me: Ah I see what you mean the driving force is missing.

Jim: That’s why I start things and nothing progresses.

Me: Yes there are a lot of unfinished pieces in my Word file and the “Legacy” project has ground to a halt. So how do we resolve this?

Jim: The ball is in your court.

Me: While I of course think it is in yours.

Jim: I wait on your direction but you are waiting for inspiration/passion.

Me: And for sometime it has not come. The “other” in my life seems to have vanished.

Jim: So what comes next?

Me: I think that I need to do some contemplation on the “other”, reduce the distractions in my life and let’s at least start writing by finishing the blog on Morocco.

Jim: that sounds like a deal.

The good news is the blog got finished (see https://wp.me/pENvY-sW if you are interested). Then I felt encouraged to complete writing about the dream. It feels like the impasse has been broken and hopefully the dissonance resolved.

 

 

 

 

Exploring My Inner Trump

I did not particularly enjoy waking to a dream that included Donald Trump. Who really wants to explore their “Inner Donald”? However I suspected there would be intrinsic meaning from this image.

I am at the tail of a plane. The captain announces there has been a fire on the wing but the suppression system has put it out. I glance over to see flames flowing over the edge of the wing. I cry out that it is still alight. Then the gentleman sitting next to me who is wearing a uniform and I assume is an off duty member of the flight crew shouts, ” no it’s ok it’s out.”

I am confused. I can clearly see more and more flames expanding and growing across the wing yet the expert claims there is not a problem. I keep my mouth shut and get ready to die. I am convinced the plane will explode before we land. I am at the opposite end of the plane from the exits so would have no chance if even if we landed then caught fire.

I leaned over and gave a kiss to my fellow passenger who had contradicted me and braced myself for the end.

I notice we are descending lower and lower on our flight path. Suddenly the ground is flashing by, we come to a stop and there are fireman attending to the fire. An exit open immediately beside me and I step out. I am safe. Some of the president’s security detail are with me, they are talking about how huge the president has become. “He even takes up two seats” said one. 

I feel both bemused and relieved to wake. At first I want to dismiss the dream as stupid and irrelevant. This is my ego’s normal response to anything that may threaten its authority. Then after my morning meditation I am just finishing my journal practice when I realize I have not written it down – a sure sign of resistance. So I capture the essence then move on to my weekly call from a close friend.

She shares an amazing dream from the previous night that she did not particularly enjoy. “Much better than dreaming about Donald Trump.” I quip then share my dream with her. She can’t help wondering if it is about a brunch I have planned later that morning where I may encounter a test of my “Pledge to Listen”.

As I walk to my appointment I begin to ask myself “what is my inner Trump and why would it be getting bigger?” The word “inauthentic” pops into my head and the pieces of the puzzle slip seamlessly into place.

Normally when I work with a dream I begin with the feelings that flow through the dream; in this case they were particularly intense – confusion, fear, feeling shut down by an authority figure, resignation, surrender, relief and more confusion. Solving the dream is a bit like cooking a dish- mix all these feelings with the symbol of growing inauthenticity, simmer for a while  and check what comes?

Dreams frequently relate to the current environment of life. Last year a friend of mine began a campaign to get people to sign “a pledge to listen”. I know I disappointed him when I refused the offer telling him that I was just not willing to give time to hear misogynist, racist, conservative, and bigoted views. Life was too short. Frankly I am poor at paying attention to any views that don’t correspond with mine.

Then two things impacted me. First due to an amazing dream I realized the importance of expanding what I call feminine values into my life – loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, empathy, equanimity to name a few. Second, at times I fell so short of trying to achieve this goal it is humiliating. For example I am out with a group of male friends for a beer and discussion evolves around a new tax on rich people’s homes. I am sympathetic because I believe that we need programs to help redistribute wealth. One of my friends explodes and violently argues against my perspective. I decide to shut him down, “why can’t you accept I am a communist”? It works.

It’s not true or even close to being true but it seemed like the response that could shut him up. Empathetic? Compassionate? Loving? Certainly not and it felt like a failure. I would have liked to blame it on the beer but in reality I had nursed a pint to help avoid such reactive outbursts. (I learned a while ago that too much alcohol reduces the chance of staying centred and empathetic.)

I could unravel the psychology behind it. It was a repeat of the confrontations that has haunted me since childhood facing a father with strong evangelical views. However despite understanding it, I could not dismiss it.

I went off on a long “escape winter” trip and faced no similar challenges however I knew they would be awaiting my return. The gift of solo travel is that it offers much time for reflection and self-examination. I realized that listening from the heart is one of the feminine values to which I am committed and decided to reconsider the “pledge to listen”. I was doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, it was time to embark on an alternative strategy.

My first test would come at a dinner party scheduled five days after I returned. Still feeling somewhat in a state of adjustment due to a fifteen-hour time time change and going from tropical temperatures to freezing, I stepped boldly into the unknown.

My intuition even warned me how the test would come. He will ask you what you think of your friend Trudeau now. Our prime minister has been involved in a challenging political drama that is dividing the country and causing many people to reassess him as a leader.

However the evening progressed with no fireworks, no political discussion, just a lovely reunion of seven old friends.

I pushed my chair back thinking I had perhaps dodged a bullet and then it came. “Before you leave, what do you think of your friend Trudeau now?” I sat back down, hesitated then responded, “I would be interested to hear what you think”.

To my surprise this led to a well informed, thoughtful and entirely reasonable perspective, most of which I agreed with. There was no need for our normal combative engagement. It seemed this “Pledge to Listen” could really help.

However as I drove home I knew this was a small step. It is so much easier when there is no real fuel to the fire and we were not in violent disagreement but at least it was a start. Our next engagement was quite different. We were back at our friendly local and he engaged on his favourite hate – our current provincial government and a speculation tax on empty houses. I followed my pledge and listened, occasionally acknowledging his frustration and feelings. I didn’t agree but had no desire for confrontation. It seemed easier to listen and be empathetic. Once again Pledging to Listen had saved me from conflict.

Back to the dream and its relevance to this situation. In the latter context I could see that my pledge to listen risked the danger of losing my voice and becoming inauthentic by not expressing an opinion. If I simply succumb to an authority figure and became empathetic then I risk ignoring the flames of legitimate expression. Notice how in the dream I leaned over and kissed the authority figure beside me. A wonderful symbol of empathy! As the Grand Maester of dream work, eminent author and Jungian analyst James Hollis says, “You can’t make this stuff up!”

I can see my commitment to listen will be an ongoing journey. The dream tells me the next step in this journey ext – how to listen and respond authentically without being enticed into combat. I must remember the words of St Francis, “Let us be wise that we do not wed another’s madness, making them in debt to us for the deep raging gash their helpless raging lance may cause.”

A Dream to Help Deal with Clever Trevor

My Rosetta Notebook

My unconscious had precipitated me back to my world in the eighties. It was a time when today I may have been considered one of the Mad Men. The world of advertising even then was not unlike the world of Don Draper and Roger Sterling.

I am on a set and we are making commercials. I sit down to watch a rough cut. I am appalled at the level of impersonal violence in what I am seeing. It is a scene of a radar controlled bombing attack.

I go to my client Nigel to tell him I do not like what I am seeing. He brushes me away indicating no interest in discussing my point. Somewhat disconsolate I walk away to find my production notes to figure out how this scene got in the production. I can’t find them but instead I come across a notebook I had purchased some years ago at the British Museum. The cover features a display of Egyptian hieroglyphics.

I wake up puzzled but with a crystal clear memory of the dream, usually a sign it is important. Initially it made no sense. We never made commercials like that; in fact the commercials we made for Nigel were always witty, friendly and fun. No wonder I was taken aback. But why this dream now?

I began the familiar process: write the dream down, explore the feelings in the dream, identify the key high energy moments in the dream and then review the elements in the dream as symbols representing something about me. Finally consider the environment of my life in which the dream occurred.

The feelings began with interest, then curiosity, then alarm, then more curiosity, some frustration and finally more curiosity. Sometimes the flow of feelings will recall a current situation in my life but not in this case.*

The key energy points in the dream were when I viewed the rough cut, my client’s reaction and finding the note book. Nigel was a part of my life for many years. Figuring out what he represented in me was not that difficult. At one point we had both completed the Hermann Brain Dominance survey. – a fascinating personality profiling system.

Nigel had a strong dominance for analytical thinking and imaginative creativity. My profile was similar and I realized that in the dream he represents the aspect of me that represents rational thinking and intuition. Together they are a powerful combination but there is a downside. They can create a definitive sense of being right and give little respect to other people’s feelings.

This has gotten me into difficulty a number of times and as I continue in my quest for self-improvement it is an ongoing challenge. My energy when defending a position can become aggressive, insistent and self-righteous. I refer to this persona as “my clever Trevor”. I have been working to be more considerate but have had limited success.

As the wonderful poet Tukaram expresses, “Certainty undermines one’s power and makes happiness a long shot. Certainty confines”. It also can cause conflict, violence and war. It was with this realization that I began to consider the final element in the dream. The note book from the British Museum.

This notebook contains hieroglyphics from the Rosetta stone, a featured exhibit in the British Museum. This artifact provided the key to understanding Egyptian Hieroglyphics by containing a proclamation in three languages – Greek, Coptic and Egyptian. So why had my unconscious selected this symbol?

It dawned on me that when I am gripped by this mania of certainty I need to learn how to express this in a new language – a more gentle, compassionate, and considerate style that reduced the inherent combative tone I can resort to. My dream partner suggested I need to find a new narrative.

I believe the cover of the notebook could act as my personal obelisk sending a reminder to translate my expressions into this new narrative similar to the role of the massive black monolith in the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey.

Once again I feel wonder at the ability of my unconscious to martial images to create such subtle meaning.

*Only as I finish writing this reflection do I realize that the flow of feelings in this dream “curiosity, then alarm, then more curiosity, some frustration and finally more curiosity” accurately reflect the feelings I experience during a ‘clever Trevor’ episode!

When Dreams Come In Pairs It’s Worth Paying Attention

Occasionally dreams come in groups that are connected.  Sometimes the connection is easy to sense especially if the feelings within the dream repeat themselves. A friend of mine recently had two dreams containing both anger and jealousy of her partner.

Recently I had two dreams where the connection took some work to perceive. The first featured three people from my past. One was a market researcher I will call Bill, one a colleague I had worked with at Chevron named Don and the other someone I had only met once I shall call Dan. The dream is simple I am walking with Don (someone who has shown up previously in a dream and represented reconciliation.) He is leaving so I can have lunch with Bill. Dan drives by on a moped and I realize he is joining us for lunch. At the last moment I invite Don to join us. His response is “I thought you would never ask.” The setting of the dream was near the home where I grew up.

That’s all I had. It seemed significant but I had no idea where to go with it. The theme of reconciliation seemed important but reconciliation with what? Bill’s presence suggested understanding this dream would take curiosity and research to unfold. The last clue had been Dan who I had met only once in Cheltenham in 1993 where I gave a presentation on Chevron my major client.

How puzzling! Why this particular time and place? I wrote the dream out and remembered that in a conversation with my ex-wife Kat she had told me that she had her first thoughts that she did not want to be married to me on our trip to England in August 1993, the same summer we went to Cheltenham. I wondered speculatively if this dream was to do with reconciliation with her. That seemed highly unlikely as she had no interest in remaining friends, claiming she found me “boring”.

The second dream occurred the next night. I am in a classroom as a student. There is a young British woman named Loni in the same class. Loni is a friend of my sister from England. She is the age that I first met her in Las Vegas July 1993 on my honeymoon. I am talking about the importance of giving. The teacher of the class, a woman, responded saying that was helpful but after lunch we would address the other aspect of the subject “advocacy”. I ask Loni if she wants to have lunch but she wishes to see the teacher. I wonder off feeling a little lost.

The connection between the two dreams was my marriage to Kat. Each dream represented a bookend to my marriage – my honeymoon and when Kat decided it was over. Clearly the issue of reconciliation was on the table. But what form could it take? Why did advocacy show up? Why Loni and what did she symbolize within me? Why was I talking about giving?

Where should I begin? Dream work is not for the faint of heart. It requires attention, commitment, suspension of rational judgment, patience, willingness to open your own Pandora’s box, perseverance and more.

I started by remembering a blog I had written a number of years ago on the archetype of the advocate of the Soul. I decided to look it up. Part of the advocate’s role is to reflect back to someone that which may help support them and perhaps reimagine a challenge they are undergoing. (see https://wp.me/phAyS-EO for more). Immediately I sensed the significance of this to my second marriage – there had been no advocacy for either of us.

I had been like a deer in the headlights. The marriage had been spawned out of my mid life crisis – the classic case of an older man smitten by a beautiful young woman nineteen years his junior. In the dim recesses of my mind I recalled what was a rare occurrence in those days, I had written a secret diary of my illicit passion. A brief search ensued and somewhat to my surprise I found it.

I don’t think there is anything more humbling than reading something written almost thirty years earlier when I can honestly report my state of personal awareness would have likely scored zero. I sat appalled, reviewing what seems now to be the pathetic, heart pouring obsession of a deranged mind. I notice to my horror I had no feelings for anyone other than myself and what I wanted but could not get. I never considered the impact on anyone else involved even Kat the woman I was pursuing. I certainly did not consider my current wife.

Suddenly the role of Loni in the dream was clear. When I met her she was in thrall to an older man, father of her young child; he was off surfing in Mexico while she danced on tables to provide for the family. She represented the immature emotional self.

Now I had identified the key players in the two dreams, the pieces of the puzzle began to slip into place. I realize the reason I had been talking about giving was that I had always justified my behavior with Kat because I had been so generous with her – before we got married, during our marriage and even after it finished.

However it was time to reconcile the fact that this was not enough. I may have been generous but I had never been an advocate for her needs. I also needed to reconcile that with no advocate myself, I did the best I could at the time even though it was not very good.

It was a time for letting the past go. I wrote a note of closure. I addressed it to Kat even though out of respect for her wishes for no contact I would not send it. This dream journey is mine. Dear Kat, I apologize for any injury I may have caused you by not thinking of your needs. I let go of any need to know why you stopped being friends with me. I release any sense of lack of appreciation I may have felt.  Then I did a formal ritual or of surrender and closure and burned the note.

Only then did I have a third dream. I am on the second floor of my house sweeping out when Loni ascended the stairs towards me. She is now a mature woman. I woke up marvelling at wisdom of my unconscious that provided the confirmation that indeed this passage was now complete.